


Whispers make my ears hurt

by adamparrishisbi



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Author's opinions on s8e4 show badly, F/M, Gratuitous AU for funsies, I REPEAT NO INCEST DESPITE TAGS, If You Think This Has A Happy Ending You Haven't Been Paying Attention, M/M, No Incest, Not really just in theory, Robb Stark Lives, but also doesn't, ghost sex?, unholy amalgamation of book and show canon ofc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:02:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24522064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adamparrishisbi/pseuds/adamparrishisbi
Summary: For the "It could have gone like this, it should have gone like this, but it actually happened like this" Tumblr thing and the line "I'm not going to have a threesome with a ghost."Set the night before the Battle of Winterfell... and Theon wants to share it with a StarkTitle from Sex With A Ghost bc ofc
Relationships: Ramsay Bolton/Theon Greyjoy, Ramsay Bolton/Theon Greyjoy/Robb Stark, Ramsay Bolton/Theon Greyjoy/Sansa Stark, Theon Greyjoy/Robb Stark, Theon Greyjoy/Robb Stark/Sansa Stark, Theon Greyjoy/Sansa Stark
Comments: 7
Kudos: 10





	Whispers make my ears hurt

**Author's Note:**

> Do I feel bad for being the first one to use this format on AO3 for throbb angst? Yes. Did I do it anyway? Also yes.

**It could have gone like this:**

"I'm not going to have a threesome with a ghost" she leaned forward as she said it, hot breath lingering in the cold air against his ear.  
" _He's_ not here. He isn't and he won't ever be again and I refuse to let him lie there between us if we are to do anything at all." She ran her hand up the side of his body and leaned closer, pushing off against the stone wall and into him, harder. Her voice had gotten even darker, more the daughter of the wolf than ever before. She grabbed his ass, hard and put her lips on his ear as she spoke.  
"Pay the iron price for me, Theon. He's gone, and we are not. We are here. We won, Theon, let him rot." She bit the lobe of his ear, gently. Then he reacted. The hand at the small of her back pulled her in impossibly close, and he turned his head, grazing her lips before he whispered back.  
"I think we're both wearing a little too much clothing for that then. Stop wasting time in a stairwell when we should be in a bedchamber." He turned his head again this time catching her jaw with a single finger and pulling her into a firey kiss. She pulled away.  
"Then let us waste time no further" she slipped out from between his body and the wall and turned to pull him up the stairs to the bedchamber at the top of the staircase.

**It should have gone like this:**

"I'm not going to have a threesome with a ghost" His beard scratched along Theon's jawline, followed by his lips, pressing kisses down the column of his neck before pulling back. River blue eyes locked on him.

"So what's it going to be? Are you fighting for the north because you love it, or because you owe a debt?" His voice was cold this time, not like it had been in the throne room when he told the dragon queen that Theon was his best archer and would be greatly valued in the army to fight the dead.

"I'm not fighting for the north. I'm fighting for the living. I'm fighting for you." Theon replied, there was no ice in his voice, there never had been.

"If you're fighting for the living, then _live_ , damnit. Theon I want _you_ , not the ghost of the man who destroyed my family and their home. You, the man I loved before I was a king. _He_ was fed to his own hounds, he can't haunt us any longer and before I die I want _you_ to live again." Robb turned and hit the wooden door of the bedchamber. The half burnt boards creaked and crumbled under his fist, though the door still stood the damage was visible. Robb turned and shook his head.

"You're the only man I've ever known to be disappointed by a victory" Theon spoke into the silence that followed.

"There's no victory against a weakened opponent" Robb's eyes glinted in the fireplace. "I only want to fight fair." He stepped forward and took the heavy iron crown off his head, setting it on the bedside table. "I only want to _fuck_ fair too. You taught me that." He spit the words coming impossibly close to Theon without touching him.

"Then fuck me already. You have a kingdom to council waiting for you." Theon moved closer still, ghosting his hands over Robb.

"I think you ought to remind me of your allegiances again. Are you not here to bend the knee?" Robb whispered this time, taunting.

"I seem to recall you once were fond of _bending the knee_ yourself, your grace" Theon said, nevertheless sinking to the ground, for a minute echoing the fluid grace of his youth. Robb leaned forward and caught his chin easily.

"I am the King Who Kept The North. And I will be the man who keeps you too. He can't have you anymore, you're mine Now and Always. And I am yours." Robb kissed him then, and Theon returned in equal measure.

"Now and Always. But perhaps Now, seeing as there is to be a war before morning." Theon smiled and kneeled back down.

**But it actually happened like this:**

"I'm not going to have a threesome with a ghost." The sadness in her eyes spilled hard down her cheeks in the candlelight of the old bedchamber. _His_ old bedchamber. Theon looked down at their joined hands as she pulled away from him. He closed his eyes.

"He's gone, Theon. He's not coming back. But I am here. I am real. And before they send me down into the crypts to wait beside him I wanted to be with _you_." She put both hands delicately on either side of his face and looked him in the eye. "But I won't if it means this." He pulled away this time.

"Drowned _fuck_ , Sansa we're in his bed and you want me to forget him? I loved him. I still love him. I can't change that." Theon looked genuinely upset now and tears were rolling down his cheeks too.

"I'm not asking you to change that. I loved him too, not like you, but don't you think I miss him? Don't you think he haunts my dreams too? You're not the only one who wished to die beside him, Theon, but we didn't. We are here, alive, and I love you. I want you Theon, but not like this, not if I'm a stand in for the spectre of my brother. I can't fuck you while you wish I was him." Sansa's voice flipped through a million emotions from sad to angry to empty by the last word. Theon stood up.

"Then don't. I'm not your fairy tale prince, I was never what you really wanted either. I'm a traitor, and a fraud, and a craven, and all I ever wanted was to be one of you, someone that kept you safe, but I never could be and now I'll die for Bran, like I couldn't die for Robb. And maybe then you'll cry for the hero you'll make me to be in your mind, and maybe when my body reaches the bottom of the sea he'll be waiting for me in the Drowned God's feast halls. Maybe there'll be nothing after but fish to eat my flesh and I can finally rot away like I should have years ago." He turned away from her and walked out the door, cloak in hand.

**Author's Note:**

> So in case it wasn't apparent ~~because I wanted it to kind of unfold as you read it~~  
>  Could have: Theonsa, the ghost is Ramsay  
> Should have: Throbb, the ghost is still Ramsay  
> Did: Theonsa, the ghost is Robb
> 
> I couldn't get "I'm not going to have a threesome with a ghost" "then don't." Out of my head and now my phone auto completes that sentence it's terrible. 
> 
> As always send me feedback/requests/tear emojis over why I still haven't finished the medusa fic from September. (It's because I am bad at writing endings)


End file.
